The Bad Beginning
Are you made fainthearted by death? Does fire unnerve you? Is a
villain something that might crop up in future nightmares of yours? Are you
thrilled by nefarious plots? Is cold porridge upsetting to you? Vicious threats? Hooks? Uncomfortable clothing? It is likely that your answers will
reveal A Series of Unfortunate Events to be ill-suited for your personal use. A
librarian, bookseller, or acquaintance should be able to suggest books more
appropriate for your fragile temperament. But to the rarest
of readers we say, 'Proceed, but cautiously.
The
Reptile Room
Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children.
They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features.
Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In the first two books alone,
the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing,
a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, a lumpy bed, a deadly
serpent, a large brass reading lamp, a long knife, and a terrible odour. In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens
to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both
literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Never before has
a tale of three likeable and unfortunate children been quite so enchanting, or
quite so uproariously unhappy.
The Wide Window
If you have not read anything about the Baudelaire orphans, then
before you read even one more sentence, you should know this: Violet, Klaus,
and Sunny are kindhearted and quick-witted, but their lives, I am sorry to say,
are filled with bad luck and misery. All of the stories about these three
children are unhappy and wretched, and this one may be the worst of them all.
If you haven't got the stomach for a story that includes a hurricane, a signalling device, hungry leeches, cold cucumber soup, a
horrible villain, and a doll named Pretty Penny, then
this book will probably fill you with despair. I will continue to record these
tragic tales, for that is what I do. You, however, should decide for yourself
whether you can possibly endure this miserable story.
The Miserable Mill
The Miserable Mill might be the
unhappiest yet. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are sent to Paltryville to work in a lumber mill, and they find
disaster and misfortune lurking behind every log. The pages of this book, I'm
sorry to inform you, contain such unpleasantries as a
giant pincher machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his
head should be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident resulting in injury, and
coupons. I have promised to write down the entire history of these three poor
children, but you haven't, so if you prefer stories that are more heartwarming,
please feel free to make another selection.
The Austere Academy
As the three Baudelaire orphans warily approach their new home Prufrock Preparatory School, they can't help but notice the
enormous stone arch bearing the school's motto Memento Mori or "Remember
you will die."
This is not a cheerful greeting and certainly marks an inauspicious beginning
to a very bleak story just as we have come to expect from Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, the deliciously
morbid set of books that began with The Bad Beginning and
only got worse.
The Ersatz Elevator
In their most daring misadventure, the Baudelaire orphans are
adopted by very, very rich people, whose penthouse apartment is located
mysteriously close to the place where all their misfortune began. Even though
their new home in the city is fancy, and the children are clever and charming,
I'm sorry to say that still, the unlucky orphans will encounter more disaster
and woe.
In fact, in this sixth book in A Series of Unfortunate Events, the children
will experience a darkened staircase, a red herring, an auction, parsley soda, some friends in a dire situation, a secret passageway,
and pinstripe suits.
The Vile Village
You have undoubtedly picked up this book by mistake, so please
put it down. Nobody in their right mind would read this particular book about
the lives of Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire on purpose, because each
dismal moment of their stay in the village of V.F.D. has been faithfully and
dreadfully recorded in these pages.
I can think of no single reason why anyone would want to open a book containing
such unpleasant matters as migrating crows, an angry mob, a
newspaper headline, the arrest of innocent people, the Deluxe Cell, and some
very strange hats. It is my solemn and sacred occupation to research each
detail of the Baudelaire children's lives and write them all down, but you may
prefer to do some other solemn and sacred thing, such as reading another book
instead.
The Hostile Hospital
The Baudelaires need a safe place to
stay—somewhere far away from terrible villains and local police. A quiet refuge where misfortune never visits. Might Heimlich
Hospital be just the place?
In Lemony Snicket's eighth ghastly installment in A
Series of Unfortunate Events, I'm sorry to say that the Baudelaire orphans will
spend time in a hospital where they risk encountering a misleading newspaper
headline, unnecessary surgery, an intercom system, anesthesia, heart-shaped
balloons, and some very startling news about a fire.
The Carnivorous
Carnival
A carnival is a place for good family fun—as long as one has a family, that is.
For the Baudelaire orphans, their time at the carnival turns out to be yet
another episode in a now unbearable series of unfortunate events. In fact, in
this appalling ninth installment in Lemony Snicket's
serial, the siblings must confront a terrible lie, a caravan, and Chabo the wolf baby.
The Slippery Slope
Like bad smells, uninvited weekend guests or very old eggs,
there are some things that ought to be avoided.
Snicket's saga about the charming, intelligent, and
grossly unlucky Baudelaire orphans continues to alarm its distressed and
suspicious fans the world over. The tenth book in this outrageous publishing
effort features more than the usual dose of distressing details, such as snow
gnats, an organised troupe of youngsters, an evil
villain with a dastardly plan, a secret headquarters and some dangerous antics
you should not try at home. With the weather turning colder, this is one
chilling book you would be better off without.
The Grim Grotto
Lemony Snicket's saga about the
charming, intelligent and grossly unlucky Baudelaire orphans continues to
provoke suspicion and despair in readers the world over. In the eleventh and
most alarming volume yet in the bestselling phenomenon A Series of Unfortunate
Events, the intrepid siblings delve further into the dark mystery surrounding
the death of their parents and the baffling VFD organisation.
The Penultimate Peril
The three sisters of Portlair came to
the Grand Finale Hotel, where they met many old people. There are teachers at
boarding schools who have stayed, bosses of sawmills who have worked, and
judges who have helped them for the first time. Are these people friends of
their parents? Why did they come to the Grand Finale Hotel at the same time?
Once again, Ovette meets the little girl Carmelita
who has a headache. As usual, she is still called and drank. To make matters
worse, Camerita asked her for a harpoon gun that
Count Olaf had used ... Klaus met the owner of the "lucky" sawmill,
who still believed that Klaus It was the source of all his troubles, and hinted
that something big would happen in the hotel on Thursday evening ... Sunny's service is to three teachers who used to live in
boarding school. What does the "final end" hotel do?
The End
This
book is a novel, and it is the thirteenth and final book of the classic
adventure novel series "The Great Adventure of Portlair".
Three sisters of Portlair drifting on the sea
encountered a shipwreck and came to an isolated island. Strangely, they found
the notebook that Mom and Dad had left here, and seemed to be able to unravel
the mystery that has been bothering them. And their old rival, Earl Olav, met
them for the last time.